Pure Ridiculousness

I begrudgingly attended a “Pure Romance” party last night (and my single reader wanted me to report back on it). So, here goes:

From the “licker” and “sniffer” hands (“You can sniff your licker, but don’t lick your sniffer”), to the pheromone enhanced lotions and lubes, to throat and butt-numbing creams, to the vibrators that not only vibrate but also twist and twirl and look pretty darn scary … The evening was absolutely ridiculous!

Having an excuse to get the girls together is one thing, but pressuring them to buy sex toys or other enhancers they probably don’t really need (or, dare I say, want) just so that you can get 10% of the sales to “purchase” your own sex toys or other enhancers is something else entirely. Now, I like my cousin very much, but as I told her, I’d much rather stop by, eat, and hang out without the pretense of buying something. First it was “PartyLite” candles, now it’s “Pure Romance” sexual products, tomorrow it will be “Mary Kay” make-up or “Pampered Chef” kitchen supplies.

Enough is enough already!

The “Pure Romance” brochure that I brought home says the following:

As a society, we spend so much time maintaining our homes, our cars, even our lawns—but, ask yourself honestly, when was the last time you maintained your relationship?

To that, I reply:

Do we really need a spinning, whirling, twirling, suction-cupping purple penis to maintain our relationships? What ever happened to conversations with the ones we love? You know, communication and just being comfortable with each other? Personally, I don’t need a measly 4 oz. container of “Dust Me Pink” powder (that costs $13 and tastes like berries!) and an $8 feather duster to have a romantic evening with my husband. A good meal, a back rub, and just cuddling together on the couch can be enough to get me going.

But maybe I’m in the minority. Maybe I’m silly to think that sex without all these extra frills is enough (and not old fashioned or even boring). Maybe I’m really missing out on all the excitement that products like “Nympho Niagra” or “Ex-T-Cee” or “X-Scream” can give me (those are real names, by the way).

Somehow, I don’t think that I am.

So, there you have it, my report on the “Pure Romance” party. Yes, I enjoyed spending time with "the girls" and I got a good laugh at some of the corny product names … But maybe I should have gone completely wild and splurged for the $150 dollar “Love Swing.”

If my marriage falls apart in the next couple of months, I guess I’ll know why. ;)

Everyday Comedy

I like to think that I'm a funny person, but even I can't come up with this stuff!

This morning, before heading to a doctor's appointment, I noticed the following arrangement on the bathroom counter and had to snap a picture.

And, no, neither my husband or myself are over the age of 60 ...

So, why, then, does our bathroom counter proudly display some psoriasis lotion and "Preparation H" hemorrhoid cream?

I guess that's just a little "everyday comedy" for you. I hope it makes you smile. :)

Good Friday

Friday is always good, but today is "Good Friday," one of the most solemn church days for Catholics everywhere.

Today, Jesus died for our sins.

In celebration of that and all the other good things that I have been blessed to experience throughout my life, I wanted to post some pictures that show (at least to me) the goodness and beauty that we often take for granted. Every time I look at these photos, I see them with a fresh set of eyes and enjoy them all over again. Some are from last year's vacations, and others from the "terrible" winter storm this March.

In any case, I hope that you can find some goodness in them, and give thanks for the goodness that is present all around us ...

If only we take a moment to open our eyes and truly see it!

What's in a Name?

In starting this blog, I didn't give much thought to what I'd name it. As important as names can be, I just couldn't imagine that a single title would be able to encompass all of the different things that I will inevitably write about as the time passes.

Of course, that's assuming I keep up with this thing! :)

As I pondered different catchy titles, I thought back to the time a former coworker called me a "neophyte" and left me scratching my head. He hadn't used the term in a negative way (so I figured it wasn't an insult) but I had to look it up just the same. Since that day, i've had that word stuck in the back of my brain as new vocabulary that could be introduced into my daily life. As much as I like the comfort of a good routine, I often fear that I use the same dull words in my daily speech, so I like to slip in the occassional "big word" every now and then. I am a college graduate, afterall. That money must have been for something ...

Anyway, according to Wikipedia, a "neophyte" can be defined as either one of the following:

A beginner, novice, or convert to Christianity

A plant species recently introduced to an area (in contrast to a
archaeophyte, a long-established introduced species).

I find both of these potential definitions interesting ... And sort of serendipitous!

One: I am a Christian (a Catholic to be more specific), and while I am not a convert I often feel like I am a beginner at my faith. After 17 years of Catholic education ... That's 9 for elementary school, 4 for high school, and 4 for college ... I have learned many different Catholic teachings, yet I am still questioning and approaching many of them as a new person would. In that sense, I suppose, I could be described as a novice.

Two: Okay, so I'm not a plant ... That much is obvious. However, as a self-proclaimed science nerd, I really like the biological connotations of the word. Also, as I step back and look at my situation, I am certainly newly introduced to this area of the internet known as blogging. If I stopped to think about it, there are probably dozens of other "areas" to which I have been recently planted. In fact, my entire life has just been one series of new events after another.

Funny how things just sort of fall into place sometimes.

If only ideas for future posts could be so simple!

Welcome to the Jungle

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your ... knees, knees.

"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses

Ah, a blog!

It was only a matter of time before I got one of these.

I've sworn to myself (and my husband ... Sorry, honey!) on various occasions that I'd never do something quite as crazy as open my life to the many people that might be unlucky enough to stumble here. But, here I am, sitting at my computer on a Monday evening and writing my very first post.

So, where to begin?

Welcome! This is "Neophyte Jungle." Aptly named (or so I think) because I am but a mere creature of this jungle that we live in ... Someone who is bombarded with new people, places, and experiences on a daily basis. Currently a science teacher to 10 through 14-year-olds, I am constantly reminded that (although I think I'm pretty smart), I, in reality, know very little at all. I am continually amazed at what each day in the classroom (or anywhere else for that matter) holds and how such experiences help to shape me into the person I am, and the person I will become.

How did I get here? Is this really my life? What is in store for me?

I probably have more questions than the students I teach!

Hopefully, with this blog as an outlet, I can get some of my thoughts and feelings in print, and thus be able to look back on them and learn from them. Maybe someone else can learn from me too. As a teacher, that's the best thing that I could hope for!