Young Love

Before you go any further, I'd just like to add the disclaimer that I don't consider myself to be musically inclined at all. In fact, besides some of my old standbys (that I could listen to over and over again), I probably have horrible taste in music. I believe that my musical tastes are so random because I either fall in love with a beat (Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it!), or I ignore the music completely and just tune in to the lyrics.

Today, while driving home from work, the most annoyingly poppy, sugary-sweet song came on the radio. I recognized the gaspy voice immediately ... It was none other than David Archuleta (runner up of last season's American Idol). I was tempted to change the channel, but, was pulled in and ended up listening to the words of the song:

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away

Now, I'm already dreading the fact that I'm posting the lyrics of an American Idol-related song on this blog ... But something about the song resonated with me and transported me back to late October 1999.

Weird.

Reading the lyrics now, as when I heard them before, I think of my husband and the relationship we forged when we were teenagers.

I was a typical sixteen-year-old, crushing on just about every celebrity with blue eyes and blond hair (and dark-haired, dark eyed Matt Dillon, but that's for another day), so it was really strange being presented with a real dating opportunity in the form of my closest male friend. The thought made me queasy, at first, and my inexperience at dealing with such issues practically ruined things before they began.

It was so hard for me to imagine being anything other than friends, because we got along so well as it was. We could talk about anything together (and did, often spending hours per night on the phone). We found humor in everything ... I don't think another person on this Earth has made me laugh as much or as hard as he has (and does). Even so, we often had those "serious" conversations: What if we did start to date? What would that mean? How would it work? How would we act? Would we last beyond senior year of high school?

While things finally eased from friendship to romantic (and I use the term very loosely because the poor boy barely got to hold my hand) relationship quite easily, I think back now and can recognize all the little obstacles that we had to conquer along the way. There were tears, fights, misunderstandings (and not just of the superficial, teenage variety), but somehow we survived it and are still together almost ten years later. Whether I just came to my senses, or "crumbled and gave in," as he would say, things were just right for us, and still continue to be.

So, back to the song that sparked this entire train of thought ...

In all its teenage glory, it speaks to me as if I'm still that teenager from 1999. I totally feel those lyrics ... I was that person. I asked those questions. I agonized as any typical teenager would and emerged from the situation a better, stronger person.

Things actually worked out.

This is one crush that isn't going anywhere. :)

Warm Fuzzies

What I wouldn't give to spend just one day of the week as my cats do ...



I think they've got the right idea!

Periodically Awesome

Although I'm a big complainer, consistently whining about the trials and tribulations of being a teacher and how I'm not sure if I really, truly like it (but who really likes their job, anyway?) ... I have to admit that it does have its amusing moments.

For example (and for your enjoyment), here is a student's answer from a Physical Science quiz that I administered today:

What property did Henry Moseley use to organize the periodic table?

Do you give up?

No, it's not atomic number (really, though, it is) ...

The answer is ...

Wait for it ...

"The awesome property!"

Ha! Awesome!

Fakers

If you haven't stepped foot in a high school recently, you would be amazed at the things teenagers are thinking up and trying to get away with.

For example, I confiscated not one, but two, cell phones from the same person today. She was sneakily going into her pencil case during class and, as I happened to walk by, I could see her animal print phone inside. Being that there is a strictly and stringently-enforced rule about having cell phones in class (they are absolutely not tolerated), I held out my hand in a very teacher-like gesture and silently waited.

This brought out a string of babbled excuses ...

"I was just checking the time!"

"It's not even on!"

"Let me explain what's going on here ..."

"I need to have the phone," I said, very simply and calmly (you never know what is going to set a teenager off). "It wouldn't be fair to all the other students' whose phones I've had to take."

Instead of just handing over the phone that I had, quite obviously already looked at, she produced a second, different phone from the pencil case and placed it in my hand. This one was silver ... Definitely not the same phone that I had seen initially.

"I need the other phone, the animal print one," I prodded.

Then the waterworks came on.

As it turns out, the students at my school carry what they refer to as "fake" cell phones. These are the phones that they no longer use, yet carry around in hopes that an unsuspecting teacher won't know the difference between the phone that they see and the phone that they are given.

Clever, huh?

Too bad I have eyes ... That work!

And this is not the first time this has happened!

During a previous cell phone debacle, a student gave me his iPod in hopes that I could be "tricked" into believing that's what I really had seen.

Nice try, but sorry.

If only these kids would dedicate this same amount of time and energy preparing for their tests and completing their homework ...

Selective Hearing

I've probably noticed many times over during the course of our marriage and previous relationship, but, tonight, it was especially apparent that my husband does not listen to a word I say!

There was a fundraiser being thrown for one the teachers that I work with at a local sports' bar. His wife, who has been battling cancer for years, recently had some complications, causing him to go on leave from teaching and ultimately making times tight for their family of four. For a small fee, my husband and I were prepared to make an appearance and enjoy some all you could eat food and all you could drink drinks, as well as a little conversation with my coworkers. As we were leaving the house, I told him (in no uncertain terms) where we were headed.

He nodded as if he understood.

My first clue that he wasn't paying attention was when he made to back out of the driveway and head the wrong direction down our street ...

My second clue was when he moved into a turn only lane to head left, when we simply had to continue straight down the road ...

After nearly being hit by another car during a quick lane change, my third clue presented itself when I kept insisting he head toward the desired street and he continued to harp on why the earlier left had turn would have made arriving at our destination easier ...

Finally on the right track, I (perhaps stupidly) asked him: "Didn't you listen to me when I said where we were headed?"

Glancing sideways at me, and much too quickly for my tastes, he replied: "Nope."

I should be mad, maybe even a little annoyed that my own husband routinely tunes me out ... As if I don't usually know better than him, anyway! Instead I somehow find the humor in all of this.

How does the saying go?

"It's either laugh or cry?"

That sounds about right.

Identity Crisis

For some reason, even though I've been teaching for over a year now, I often have a hard time describing myself as a teacher.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm very limited in terms of what or how I can teach my content area (due to both a lack of materials and a lack of cooperation by my students), or that I'm not really loving the occupation as a whole (not to sound whiny, but, except for the summers, teaching is a lot of work!). Maybe it's the little nuances like administering student assessments, or writing discipline referrals, or educating myself and honoring Individualized Education Plans, or dealing with other accommodations in the classroom. Maybe it's the various education movements that seemingly put all the power in the students' hands, or the disjointed nature of things that won't allow me to truly plan for anything. Whatever the case, there are many things about teaching that I just don't want to deal with.

Seriously, why can't I just show up each day and teach?

Why do there have to be a million distractions hitting me from every angle, constantly distorting my focus?

On most days, upon meeting new people or seeing old friends from long ago, I'd much rather sit back and talk about my time in the research field. I'd almost rather refer to my past profession and say "when I was a scientist" or "when I was back in the lab" and cut out the science teaching altogether.

Sure, people often respect teachers for the hard work that goes into the field, but it's just not exciting or glamorous ... Not that working in a lab is glamorous either!

I don't really know why it is so easy for me to fall back on my experiences in the lab instead of gush about my time in the classroom. I mean, the lab was certainly not without its problems, yet, on a personal level, I just see myself as being a scientist much more than a teacher. I'm a science person, not necessarily a person that has a deep passion for being an educator and, while I never saw the "big picture" of my lab experiments come to fruition, I felt more accomplishment there than I currently do in the classroom.

I read in a National Association of Science Teachers mailing that a majority of science teachers (something like 80%) leave the field before they've hit their fifth year anniversary. At the rate I'm going, I'm wondering if I'll fall into that category ... I'm only at the beginning of year two! Yikes!

It's disheartening because, maybe three years ago, I was completely excited and optimistic about my prospects as a science teacher. I had these big ideas, these fun plans in my head, and I guess I'm just a little down over the fact that I haven't really gotten to use any of them. Sure, there are brief moments of exhilaration when I can tell that my students "get it," or when their excitement for a project becomes contagious ... It's just that those moments are so few and far between.

Teaching is a calling, plain and simple ...

I think my phone might be on the fritz.

Repetition

After booking our flights and planting our Colorado vacation firmly in reality, we let our families in on our plans. I was especially excited to tell my parents about our little adventure because I knew that they had honeymooned at a "dude ranch" in Colorado somewhere.

Imagine my surprise when they told me that their honeymoon ranch had actually been just outside of Estes Park!

I'm not sure how they came across the sleepy little town (they didn't have Internet search engines at their fingertips), but it was interesting to think they that had been there just over twenty-five years prior. Of all the hikes and locations to take in, they suggested that we see "Gem Lake."

A serene pool, hidden at the top of a mountain, the lake was crystal clear and cold and (like everything else) absolutely breathtaking.


My Dad has a nearly identical shot from when he made the hike himself. Apparently (or so the story goes) my Mom was "tired" that day and opted to stay behind at the ranch ...

Old Timer

Almost as magnificent as the mountains it is built upon, The Stanley Hotel was one of the reasons we chose Estes Park as our vacation destination.


The second-most haunted hotel in America (it has been visited multiple times by TAPS ghost hunters) and the location which inspired Stephen King's "The Shining," the internal and external atmosphere of the place did not disappoint.

While we didn't stay there, and opted for a quaint little river lodge instead, we did enjoy our "ghost tour" and, in addition to the rest of its surroundings, would love to visit it again someday.

Into the Woods

This next photo was taken during the tail end of our trip. We spent that particular day driving across the mountains and into the Colorado River Valley in search of moose and river otters ...

We didn't find either.

What we did find, however, were some very familiar-feeling paths that wound through tall trees and along grassy meadows. The "green-ness" of these trails was reminiscent of the metroparks that are nestled in among the urban areas of our home town ... And that flat, loping land made hiking more fun and less grueling (which was good at the end of our long, yet much too short, week).

The Ground Squirrel

During our first full day in Estes Park, my husband and I drove into the Rocky Mountain National Park for an "easy" hike. We stopped up at Bear Lake (shown in yesterday's photograph) and walked a nice, semi-paved trail around it. Being that it was October, the off season, we were practically alone ... Just us and nature.

As we rounded a bend, we saw this little guy mulling around in the pine needles:

Being a lover of all animals small and fat, I quickly snapped picture after picture and was astounded when it actually came closer (only a couple feet away) to investigate us.

It took all of my willpower not to scoop it up and stuff it in our backpack ...

Colorado Dreamin'

Last year at this time, my husband and I were enjoying the gorgeous mountains of Estes Park, Colorado. Planned on a whim during that previous spring, the trip took us farther west than either of us had ever been ... And served as an introduction to air travel for my husband.

In remembrance of that magical and beautiful week (it was just what I needed given my working circumstances last year), I've decided to post a photo each day to commemorate the vacation.

I wish we could have gone back this year!

Someday ...

Mrs. Meanie

In starting (and in naming) this blog, I wanted to keep the theme that my life is a constant series of lessons. Whether I'm teaching them in the classroom, or learning them from my everyday experiences, I am all too aware that seemingly mundane happenings have a huge impact on my life and, ultimately, who I am as a person.

I've touched upon this before in a previous post, but, today, I've finally accepted that, on a very basic level, I get a strange thrill out of being a goody-two-shoes and getting people in trouble ...

The occupation of "teacher" obviously involves some amount of being in charge and leading a classroom full of students along the path of knowledge ... And when those students choose to ignore the rules, consequences must follow. While I certainly don't enjoy confrontation and (many days) would much rather ignore the problems in my classroom than deal with them head-on, there is just something about having that power and authority that can be intoxicating.

For instance, today, I confiscated three cell phones from three students over the course of the day. At first, I was surprised that these kids actually listened to me and handed over their precious phones. Next, I was somewhat saddened by the dramatic reactions that each student displayed. Then, finally, after some thought, I realized that each student was breaking school rules and, therefore, they all deserved whatever consequences came from their actions. Upon processing that revelation, I became almost giddy ... So much so that, before leaving for the day, I happily announced my accomplishment and was promptly congratulated by my peers.

Teachers need to stick together, you know.

Later, as I recounted the story to my husband, he looked at me and said: "You know, you've always been a little like that. Finding pleasure in getting rule-breakers in trouble."

My first instinct was to stick up for myself and say,"No! I'm so much nicer than that!" but, the truth is, I'm really not ... My husband is absolutely, one hundred percent right: I do like getting rule-breakers in trouble!

I have a long history of it.

On one occasion during my late high school/early college years, I ratted out my own sister because she had her friends and their boyfriends spend the night while my parents were out of town. Yes, this caused my sister to despise me and seek revenge for many years, but never once did I regret it. I did the right thing. I told the truth. My parents deserved that much ... I deserved that much for being a good daughter for many, many years and following the rules!

So, call me Mrs. Meanie from now on ... I can take it. I think I'm finally coming to terms with my goody-goody nature and actually embracing it. It's funny that I come home some days and wonder why I ever decided to be a teacher, and others I get the eerie realization that maybe it's a much better fit that I think it is.

Maybe my student from last year (we'll call him Casper) was right.

Subconsciously, I became a teacher so that I could write detentions.