Balancing Act

I find that, as a teacher, I must walk a fine line between being either a "friend" or an "authority figure" to my students. No matter how hard I try, it seems that one designation wins out over the other and, ultimately, complicates the year.

During my first year of teaching (with 5-8th graders) I fell into playing the "friend" role and was promptly squashed. I found that, in my urban situation, it just didn't work for the younger kids. They just didn't seem to understand the concept of getting respect by giving respect ... They expected to be treated fairly with no regard for how they treated me. Which, to their credit, was probably a familiar way of life to them ... I can only imagine how things were run at home. So, I resigned to let the year be as it was and I told myself that when I found a new job and got a fresh start, I would begin from scratch and make sure that I demanded the respect of my students ... Even if it meant that I had to be "unfriendly" sometimes.

Ha! Let's just say that's much easier said than done ...

Within the first two days of school this year, I had a student (we'll call her *Natasha) tell me that I was her favorite teacher ... Within two days! Natasha is in my final and largest class of the day, an Earth Science class. By seventh period, these students are bursting at the seams, ready to go home and begin their afternoon of freedom ... So, although their behavior is an improvement from the horrors of last year, they are far from "good" for the entire fifty minutes. Natasha is definitely among the talkers, but she follows directions when I ask and genuinely seems to want to do well in my class and hold up her end of the "respect bargain."

Then, there is *Katie from my earlier Earth Science class. She gives me "high fives" in the hallway and talks to me about her "crazy Polish family" during study hall. She, unlike Natasha, listens in class and just seems to want that closer connection, which is fair, since she is part of a small school environment. Who am I to deny her that?

I have always felt that being a teacher requires knowing your students and their individual needs and forming some sort of bond with them ... And my favorite teachers were the ones who did just that ...

Even so, I am tormented by the fact that I've begun to squander my "fresh start." I can see it slowly slipping through my fingers. I'm quickly taking on that "friend" role and becoming the teacher that everyone likes ... Which can be fine, but, do they respect me? It really only takes a couple occasions to establish that authority role, to show them that you are serious and mean business ... So my year is not too far gone if I wish to change the way my classroom is run.

It is just so incredibly hard to strike that balance!

(Again, names have been changed ... and will continue to be ... so that a mere google search will not unveil my secret identity)