The Blame Game

During one of my many weekend internet putzing sessions, I came across this article.

Not only was I horrified to read that an eighth grader was killed simply for being gay (sadly, this is a tragedy that is becoming all-too-common), I was also completely and utterly confused at his parents' reactions.

Instead of directing their anger and frustration at the child that killed their son, they are focusing their attention squarely on the school district (and its administration and teachers) for not enforcing the dress code. They are blaming them for not doing something when their child showed up to school in feminine clothing and make-up.

Wait ... What?

Why is this the school's responsibility?

Why couldn't these parents take a moment each morning to make sure their son didn't leave the house in something overtly feminine? Why couldn't they enforce that he wait until after school to apply whatever make-up he enjoyed wearing?

As a teacher, it boggles my mind that, whenever anything goes wrong between the hours of 8:00 am and 3:00 pm, I am automatically to blame. Violence and school shootings aside (I believe that precautions need to be taken before something terrible happens), I'll certainly take credit where credit is due ... For the good or the bad. Unfortunately, it seems like, more and more, teachers are on the receiving end of excessive fingerpointing. That's not to say that some don't deserve it ... There are definitely some nasty educators out there ... But this trend of "when in doubt, blame a teacher" is very troublesome. Teachers are no longer being seen as authority figures or people to be respected (by their students, and, often, by their parents, as well). Instead, they are quickly evolving into scapegoats.

Let me tell you, it's hard enough to teach pre-teens and teenagers about the wonders of science, let alone lecture them in taking responsibility for their actions (or lack thereof) when their parents haven't yet mastered the concept. The things I do in a classroom will only go so far if there isn't any reinforcement at home ...

The parents in this article are obviously hurting, going through something so agonizing and unwarranted, and I certainly feel for them. I just wish that they could take a step back from their current position and think about how they (personally) could have aided in the situation. If they knew that their child had certain tendencies and vulnerabilities, why didn't they do something about it? Isn't that a parent's "job?"

Why is it automatically the school's issue, while they, too, sat back and did nothing?

Maybe I will never fully understand.