Middle School Lessons (#4)

In honor of my eighth graders' graduation tomorrow, I want to present another "Middle School Lesson" that solely revolves around them and their (shall we say) interesting way of thinking ...

Lesson #4: Being single is sad

On many occasions, either before or after class, the topic of dating would come up with my eighth graders.

Who is dating whom? Who hasn’t dated at all? Who is “lame” for not having a boyfriend?

I was never very surprised, but I still wanted to rip my hair out!

“You’re too young to be dating,” I’d say. “Be a kid. Have fun and hang out with your friends. You don’t need to worry about dating yet!”

Then, as if to catch me and block me in some corner, I would inevitably get the following question: “Okay … Then how old were you when you started dating?”

Wonderful! They practically played into my hands without even knowing it!

“I was seventeen,” I’d say.

And this isn’t a lie. I was the type of girl that didn’t want a boyfriend. I was the type of girl that enjoyed playing sports, acting in drama club, and hanging out with her friends. Now, don’t get me wrong. I crushed on just about every young actor and/or singer that was out there: Chris O’Donnell, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ryan Phillippe, Justin Timberlake … I had (have, I should admit) a long withstanding crush on Matt Dillon too, but that’s for another day. So, yes, while I liked boys (men!?), I just didn’t want them to complicate my life.

Sometimes the questioning would continue. “Well then … How many boyfriends have you had?”

I’d smile again. They probably don’t expect what’s coming next: “One … And I married him.”

Again, this is completely true. I’ve only had one boyfriend. I won’t pretend to be completely lily white, because I did have many male friends throughout my life, but I never got around to dating any of them. I didn’t have the whole “friends with benefits” nonsense either. A friend was a friend in my book.

But, what is so wrong with that?

Some people may look at me and think I’m too young to be married or that I haven’t experienced enough to have made that decision in the first place. To them, I’d say that I don’t need to sleep around with multiple guys to know when I’ve got a good thing (and I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about much more than that). While society and the “celebrity culture” that we see on TV and in magazines may indicate otherwise, it is possible to go against that grain. I’m a complete nonconformist when it comes to popular culture and to “the crowd.” So, in that sense, I am very unique. I stick to my beliefs and ideas with a ferocity that many lose over time. I don’t care who is doing what … If I don’t want to do it, I won’t. Underage drinking, drugs, casual sex … You name it. I’m a walking public service announcement.

I only hope that some of this spirit will be passed to my own, biological children … If not to some of those "children" in my classroom. Lord knows, with the things they face each and every day, they could use it!

I wish each and every one of them the best.

Good luck eighth grade class of 2008! I will always remember you and think back fondly of our time (and many candid conversations) together! :)